May 2002 – LonelyMachines

How the script for Episode II was really written

(2000, the offices of Lucasfilm. George Lucas, Lynn Hale, and Rick McCallum are meeting to discuss the script and details for Episode II)

George Lucas: Okay, so I want this one to be called “Jar Jar saves the Universe.” Now don’t freak out, I know the fans wanna see Annie, too, so we’ll throw him in, along with that short guy, whasshisname?

Rick McCallum: Yoda?

Lucas: Yeah, Yoda! The kids’ll love it!

McCallum: I don’t think this is the angle we want to go with…

Lucas: And why not?!? People love Jar Jar! You told me so!

Hale: Well, maybe, George, we were trying to avoid hurting your feelings, and…

Lucas: And what?

McCallum: Well, George, people don’t like Jar Jar. For many reasons.

Hale: Many.

Lucas: Name one!

(Lyn Hale pulls out a file labeled “Phantom Menace reviews.” George looks over it, aghast. He screams, and at one point, paces the room crying.

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Visual Media

Thoughts on Episode II

When I was eight years old, I sat in a movie theater while the closing credits for The Empire Strikes Back scrolled up on the screen, and I was pissed. Pissed that Han had been sold down the river, pissed that Luke had gotten the snot beaten out of him, and most of all, pissed that George Lucas expected me to wait three years to learn whether or not Vader was really Luke’s father. Back in 1980, that was one heck of a cliffhanger.

As Episode II ends, we’re left with no such anticipation, but more a sense of resignation, a quiet voice that says, so this is where it all goes wrong. We know the fate of the principals, and we’re just sticking it out to learn the exact details. And so, the prequel trilogy unfolds with all the suspense (and drama) of a history lesson.

Part of the problem lies in the storytelling, or lack thereof.

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