May 2005 – LonelyMachines

Humor

Aleatory inbox poetry

One thing I love about Thunderbird is the built-in junk filtering system. After a little bit of training, it wipes out 95% of the crap I’d rather not wade through to get to my email. Thing is, with any such filters, you’re bound to get the occasional false-positive, so it never hurts to double check.

The last few times I’ve perused my “Junk” folder, I’ve noticed a preponerance of advertising messages with subject lines like, “Virginia said hi” or “Has Carla left Steve yet.” I guess they’re supposed to be mistaken for personal correspondence, but for the most part, internal patterns in the messages are enough for Thunderbird to pick them out.

What I don’t understand (and if you know, drop me a line) is the smattering of nonsense that’s attached to the bottom of each of these messages. Stuff like “proud poetic seething sidereal decreeing presidential brash hut sham.” What the heck?

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Visual Media

After the prequels, or “where are they now?”

The following contains spoilers for the new Star Wars movie. If you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want it utterly wrecked for you, skip this post. And go see it. It’s much better than the first two episodes.

So, at the end of Episode III, all the nails are pretty much in the coffin. Everyone you don’t see in the original trilogy dies over the course of the movie.

Plo Koon, Aayla Secura, Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar and the rest of the Jedi Council: cut down by their own troops in the field after Order 66 is activated.

Mace Windu: partially dismembered by Anakin, then killed by Palpatine by being shocked and thrown out a high window.

Bail Organa: to be killed on Alderaan when the Death Star destroys it.

Qui Gon Jinn: killed in Episode I, finds a way to become immortal through the Force after death, passes this secret on to Yoda, who passes it on to Obi-Wan at the end of Episode III

Nute Gunray, Rune Haako, Wat Tambor and the rest of the Trade Federation cronies: killed by Anakin Skywalker on Mustafar.

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Visual Media

Star Wars: Episode III, Part 2

Okay, there are spoilers ahead. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, skip the rest of this review. All I’ll give away is the obvious: everyone you don’t see in the original trilogy dies here. Horribly. This isn’t a fun movie, but yes, it’s worth seeing if you have any interest in Star Wars.

You’ve been warned.

Of course, it opens with a huge space-battle. Like so many other things in the prequels, it looks great, but in context, it doesn’t serve any real purpose, and there’s no sense of urgency or risk. Seriously, cut out the whole battle/rescue sequence, and the plot doesn’t falter a bit. It’s just there as a huge, loud and confusing overture. Count Dooku shows up, and promptly gets cut down by Anakin. Again, no emotional investment whatsoever. No,”you cut off my hand, now it’s payback,” no witty banter from the Count, just a flashy lightsaber battle and off with his head.

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Visual Media

Star Wars: Episode III, Part 1

Well, it’s all wrapped up, and at least it went out with a bang instead of a wheeze this time.

After Attack of the Clones, it occured to me that I’d gone to see it out of reflex more than anything else. After Fun Time with Jar Jar and Pals (also known as Phantom Menace, if memory serves), I had really lost faith in George Lucas. His “enhancements” to the original trilogy didn’t help matters, either. It felt like all my childhood memories had somehow been tainted, I wasn’t looking forward to the second installment. After the fever-pitch of hype and dissapointment that surrounded Episode I, most of the folks attending AOTC seemed just a bit wary. There were more than a few folks holding out hope, but even that had a certain guarded quality to it.

Episode II wasn’t nearly as horrendous as the first one, but it certainly wasn’t very good, either.

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