You know, the early 1990s were the halcyon infancy of the internet. Al Gore knew what he was doing when he invented this thing. Sure, it had massive potential as a medium for intellectual exchange, but in the end it turned into a mindless sludge of porno, crackpot theories, and obnoxious advertising.

It's all just so depressing, really. Some days, I wonder if there's anything useful on the 'net, excepting of course my own lucid and important writings. Then, just as I think the web is a colossal waste of time, I stumble on something brilliant like Gizoogle. Screw Wikipedia and all that "intellectual" stuff, what we all want is to be entertained.

Gizoogle takes normal web sites and translates them into the jargon of the day. Take for example, this rather staid Slashdot post and then feed it to Gizoogle:

boarder8925 writes "George Lucas said he was finished wit tha Stizzar Wars movies, but it seems George Lucas has an idea fo` anotha add-on ta tha Star Wars movie series : a prequel ta The Phantom Menace. The story would follow tha Jizzle regain'n control of tha universe fizzle tha many Diznark Lords some 88 years before Anakin Skywalka ever graced tha universe . Put ya mutha f#$*in choppers up if ya feel this.. Yoda, whizno, accord'n ta Lucas, was instrumental in tha effort, would apparently hizzle a heezeelining role. Howeva, Lucas, now age 60, sez he W-to-tha-izzon't be bustin' such a ship if it ever happens."

Much more entertaining! See? The internet's still good for something! Hallelujah!

Of course, what's it do to my page? Well, take a look:

I don't think I'll ever get the phrase, "It's like e.e. cumm'n ho-slappin' me email from beyond tha grave" out of my head. But hey, it can even make me sound cool to the youth of America, so it's all good, yo. Peace out. Or something to that effect.