They save me from wading through nuggets of wisdom like this, from akryr@hotmail.com:
WTF?!?!! I try to register on your site but it doesn't work…98% of the world uses Explorer, so get …

Well, you can start by giving him or her a really stupid name. The Atlanta Journal has published a database of the most common baby names in Georgia.

Some are truly horrendous. I'm pretty sure that if you name your child Chancellor (as 78 people did), he'll spend most of his primary school years being beaten up for his lunch money. Naming a girl Heaven-Leigh is a sure-fire way to ensure she'll grow up to be a stripper, but six parents did just that.

Mike Rolfs was kind enough to send along a link to the original mallninja.com, archived at the Wayback Machine. Take a moment to stroll down memory lane with the men who keep our shopping malls safe.

Oh, get over it.

Oh, I know I'm going to hear about this one.

Hey, it's got a kitten. And people like kittens, right? Right?

Skunkabilly strikes again! If you don't get the joke, try reading this.

Another day, another piece of Mall Ninja Tactical Recon Deployment (M.A.N.T.A.R.D.) gear. Today's exhibit is a bayonet mount, complete with blade, for a CZ 75 SP-01.

A bayonet. For a pistol.

Lest you think that this is something I just overheard when I had the tinfoil cap off, here it is, in all its blurry glory:

I originally panned Lost Planet based on a rather underwhelming demo, but I kept hearing great things about the final version from other gamers, so I broke down and bought it.

Turns out the demo really didn't do the game justice. I've really been enjoying it, and the multiplayer is an absolute blast, easily matching the frenetic rush of Battlefront. Thing is, this is still online gaming, which means I sometimes find myself dealing with the lowest-common-denominator sorts.

My local high-school football team is called the Wolverines. The high-school football team and guerilla patriot squad from Red Dawn is also called the Wolverines. Yet, whenever I see someone in a letter jacket and scream, "Wolverines!" with a rifle in my hand, people just don't seem to get it.

Why? Because one of the great classics of Reagan-era American cinema languishes in near-obscurity. This is truly unfortunate, especially since we just haven't had enough flag-waving jingoistic fervor in this country lately. Every red-blooded American should go out and watch this movie immediately.

If you don't, then the terrorists have already won.

I've got a WinXP partition on my laptop that I have to keep to use SonicStage. Oh, how I hate SonicStage, and Sony for forcing me to use it…but that's a different topic.

Anyhow, I've hued and cried about Internet Explorer's shoddy rendering of CSS before. Now that version 7 is out, I figured I'd give it a run and see if the codemonkeys at Microsoft had gotten things right. I mean, it's only been ten years since the CSS standards have been introduced, right? You'd think they could have gotten it fixed by now.

Guess again.

A member at the High Road posted a new piece of Mall Ninja lore, this one from MySpace. Personally, I haven't bothered browsing the forum from which it originated, as it requires an account on MySpace, and …