In these days of restrictive DRM, lawsuits from the BSA, and all manner of spyware, adware, trojans and virii, most pre-adolescent girls are migrating to Linux and other OSS variants. Studies done by really smart people with clipboards have shown it.
To respond to this demand, Mattel has released BarbieOs 1.99, which will be powering the B-Book laptop available this Politically Correct Non-Denominational Winter Holiday (formerly known as X-mas, formerly known as Christmas).
According to a company spokesdroid, the BarbieOs runs under Debian, reflecting young consumers’ concerns for speed, stability, security and scalability. He says that this is the sort of OS a savvy, career-oriented woman like Barbie would use, and he adds, “Barbie would also be tired of Microsoft’s licensing bullshit.”
As are we all.
Speaking of DRM, many consumers concerned with the legal and intellectual constraints being placed on the online music community have started turning to older, less restricted technology. To respond to this, Rio, the folks behind the mighty-but-doomed Karma have decided to release one last audio player: the 2-XL. This one is truly revolutionary, bypassing all copyright-protection measures by storing music not in digital format, but on analog tape. True, storage is limited, sound-quality could be better, and the unit is rumored to be somewhat large, but in these days of RIAA lawsuits, this is truly a defiant turn, and it shows that Rio plans on going out with a bang.
Leaked photo of a prototype.
In other news, Sanrio, owners of the famous Hello Kitty trademark, have branched out into small-arms sales. The first model, a modified AK-47, should also be in stores in time for the holidays.
