X3: The Last Stand

I grew up on Chris Claremont’s X-Men. The book struck a chord with me, and soap-opery as it was, it was much better than the silly fare most companies were churning out. Claremont took some of the strangest people imaginable, breathed life into them, and made the reader care.

Somehow that all lost focus in the late 80s when Jim Lee hijacked the book. Throughout the 90s, it was a total mess, with a revolving door of mediocre writers and artists who really had no feel for the characters. Every now and then, I’d pick up a copy out of nostalgia, but the books were filled with ridiculously muscled (or ridiculously endowed, in the case of the female characters) ubermensch who seemed to be distinguished from each other by their names only.

Sales dropped, and Marvel started a “let’s throw a bunch of stuff against the wall and see what sticks” approach. The one thing that did work was getting Grant Morrison (the Invisibles, which was a strong influence on the Matrix) to write the book. He gave it a science-fiction feel, outed Professor X to the world, and killed off Jean Grey and Magneto finally and for good.

That lasted a month before Marvel backpedaled and retconned it out. I haven’t bothered to read much since.

One interesting theme Morrison touched on was the fact that everything in the books was cyclical: Jean dies, Jean comes back. Same with Magneto. Nobody stayed dead, and nothing changed below the surface. In Morrison’s run, the characters kept repeating history, but for once, they acknowledged it. There’s an underlying sense of futility and frustration among the characters, a sort of tangible weariness that rings true. The Phoenix came back to Jean right as her marriage to Scott was breaking down, and Morrision painted a beautiful picture of her as someone utterly lost with nobody to turn to. Jean even ran to Logan’s arms at one point, only for Logan to admit, “we both know it would never work.”

Jean’s breakdown was vivid and her fate inevitable, as was Magneto’s death. Morrison did a great (if sometimes inscrutable) job of bringing it all together, and unlike previous writers, it appeared that his whole run had been scripted out from the start. If Jean and Magneto were meant to be killed off (and it was long past time), this was the way to do it: with sensitivity to their past and an idea of who they really were.

Then Marvel decided to make movies of the series. With a book like the X-Men, that’s no small feat. There’s 30 years of continuity to take into account, not to mention the deep and varied histories and relationships between characters.

Brian Singer seemed like an odd choice to direct the first two, but when I saw the first movie, it became obvious that he was a great choice. Singer understood that this was a character-drama first and a slugfest second. Origins were rewritten (Wolverine’s was very well done) and characters were changed for the sake of conciseness, but overall, the compromises felt well-done and the acting (with the exception of Halle Berry) was wonderful. Casting was remarkably apt, and the storylines from which he borrowed were handled judiciously.

Then Singer got recruited away, and Brett Ratner came in. Things went awry, obviously.

This movie feels horribly rushed, and what’s worse, it butchers one of the most important and influential of Claremont’s stories.

As I see it, there are three “classic” Claremont storylines:

You really need alot more setup and empathy with Jean’s character, and in the book, there were more external forces pulling at her. The original story took place on a cosmic scale, but still managed to stay firmly rooted in family drama.

In the original, Jean presents such a threat that massive forces are finally arranged against her, and her fellow X-Men are willing to fight for her nonetheless. Unwilling to sacrifice her friends, Jean kills herself. That’s right: suicide of a major character in a comic book, and it’s portrayed as a noble act. This was a big deal, and the story transcended comic-book fandom into a wider phenomenon.

That’s where X3 really failed for me: the books are stories about people and their relationships, and the super-heroic stuff is really secondary. Ratner made an action movie, which is fine, but he really shouldn’t have done it around a storyline involving emotional investment. The “cure” storyline would have been enough to carry the movie, and the Phoenix thing felt tacked-on as fan service.

The violence was well-choregraphed and special effects ranged from acceptable to astounding, but I’m not watching some Bruckheimer action movie, this is the X-Men, and it’s supposed to be more than that. I’m not sure Ratner even understands the characters. Witness how Magneto walks out on Mystique when she loses her powers (and how did she metamorphize with eyeliner and makeup intact?). He comes across as just plain evil and uncaring, which is never what he was supposed to be. Terrorist? Yes. Maybe a bit too vengeful and a bit mad? Yep. But not capricious.

We’re never given a chance to feel Jean’s confusion, and the movie is rife with minor characters taking up screen time. In fact, Ratner got most of those wrong as well. I’ll let you scour the forums to figure out who’s who; I couldn’t figure out who most of the onscreen extras were supposed to be, with the notable exception of Madrox and Juggernaut (and they were well handled).

Kelsey Grammar is wonderful as Hank McCoy, and like McKellen and Stewart, he seems to have been preordained to play the part. At least they got his catchphrase (“Oh, my stars and garters.”) right. Still, like most of the important characters, he just doesn’t get enough screen time, and that’s a crime.

It was also a nice piece of nostalgia to see the Fastball Special onscreen.

The whole movie feels like porn in an odd sense: let’s have some dialogue to tie things together, then get down to the good stuff. Subtlety? Character development? Who needs that when we’ve got CGI!

Thank goodness the ending (stay through the credits) leaves the possibility for sequels open. I’d like to think this was simply a bump in the road rather than a derailing train.

Is it worth seeing? I suppose. Thing is, it depends on having seen the first two to make any sense at all. What’s more, alot of the characters Ratner’s flooded the screen with require some serious background reading to identify. Singer’s movies didn’t, and that’s a big difference. Still, lots of stuff gets blowed-up good, and the movie has certainly made its share of money, meaning that we’ll likely see more installments.
Here’s hoping they get Whedon for the next.