It could happen here

I understand Lindsey Lohan’s a big deal these days. She got arrested for getting blotto in public again.

Of course, I really don’t know exactly who that is, so let’s skip to something more substantial, eh?

Like Estonia. For the geographically-challenged, it’s a small country south of Finland that was forcibly integrated into the Soviet Union, then liberated in 1991. They’re generally unassuming on the world scene, though the Estonians I’ve met are a nice bunch. Over the last month, their government computer networks have been subjected to a targeted DDoS attack.

It now appears that disgruntled Russians were behind it. Go figure. Disgruntled Russians. That’s like pissy French (oh, I’m gonna hear about this…). Whether the attacks were officially-sanctioned or not is anyone’s guess, but it appears to be a form of protest against the removal of a Soviet-era war memorial statue from Tallinn.

In any case, this marks the beginning of a dangerous new paradigm. It’s not uncommon for protest to degenerate into wanton disruption. Witness the horrid behavior of our nation’s spoiled youth whenever you give them some sliver of a “cause” to bitch about. They trash Starbuck’s and spray-paint “No War for Oil” on highway overpasses. It’s all very embarrassing, but at least it doesn’t trash the infrastructure.

On the other hand, protest can take the form of treason, or even bloodshed. People are willing to destroy things and each other given the slightest provocation. Give ’em a motive, no matter how flimsy, and away they go.

Like any chimp, the average person can wield rudimentary tools. They can throw trash cans through storefront windows, and some can even figure out firearms. These days, someone with just a hair of technical literacy can get ahold of some pretty vicious software as well. Contrary to popular belief, most of the virii and trojans out there aren’t the work of some genius “hacker,” but rather a combination of dumb-luck and the ability to use simple, precompiled malware that’s widely available on the internet.

Get a few folks together, rally them to the “cause,” and cut them loose with this stuff, and you’ve got a situation like the one in Estonia. Basic government and financial services have been compromised and crippled, and over what? A statue.

Think it can’t happen here? Guess again. Fortunately, our alien overlords in Washington have a plan to thwart this threat they just read about while researching the deleterious effects of videogame violence.

And just what is this strategic masterwork they have in mind? Hire a bunch of science-fiction writers to speculate on the matter.

I’ll wait while you clean the Diet Coke off your keyboard.

It’s amazing that the largest, most well-funded intelligence agency in the world hasn’t thought to simply hire a few folks who’ve been working in this field for years. I’m sure they’ve got some “experts” up there in Quantico that were real pioneers in the days of punch-cards, but things have changed. You no longer need to be an expert or a superspy to unleash something like Code Red onto the web.

You have to anticipate these sort of things, and you have to know how to counter them. You need people who have seen this stuff in the wild. If evil robots start rolling down the street, I’ll ask Greg Bear for advice. In the meantime, spend some of our tax dollars on people with actual experience with this sort of thing.

What’s more, we need to learn one very important thing from the debacle in Estonia. We need to learn how to wean ourselves off our dependence on technology. The situation in Tallinn illustrates this shockingly well. Deprived of email and internet access, the government basically shut down. In Europe, where the government acts as nanny and provider, this is a catastrophe.

It could be much the same here. Ever see someone whose cell phone battery just went dead? They go into apoplexy. Now imagine that person deprived of electricity for a few days.

This is why I pretty much expected the end of the world on 01/01/2000. Not from a massive technological meltdown, but from the unreasoning panic and lunacy that accompanies the sudden disruption of routine and comfort that’s so important to us these days.

Software can be a weapon, just as dangerous as a ball of plutonium and roofing nails. It’s easier to find and acquire, and what’s more, it can be used without exposing the user to any real danger. We’re going to more attacks over the next few years, some against specific agencies, and some against vulnerable targets of opportunity (“Dude, this guy’s got, like, no firewall”).

In the hands of some, it will be a form of protest. For others, a tool of war. Then there are those that just like to watch stuff break and die. Some of it can be prevented, and we can learn to defend against some of it, but in the end, some if it will be successful, and we have to be ready for that.

Learn to live without electricity. Learn how to get by without email for a few days. Carry change for the public phone if the network’s down. Have an emergency plan for protecting your home. Keep a week’s supply of bottled water and non-perishables on hand. Learn to live off the land if it comes to that. Expect all these things to be necessary at some point.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, though I despise the people that do these things, I consider the tools to be protected under both the First and Second amendments. The First Amendment considerations are obvious, but as I mentioned, software can be a weapon. Like any other, it can be used against a government gone tyrannical, and the right to use it should not be subject to infringement.

See you in the woods if things go wrong.