Apocryphal Mall Ninjutsu

Mall Ninja in the wild.

Mike Rolfs was kind enough to send along a link to the original mallninja.com, archived at the Wayback Machine. Take a moment to stroll down memory lane with the men who keep our shopping malls safe.

While you’re at it, check out the 9×19 Forum (The official home of “9mm vs. 45!”), where our very own Gecko45 is a moderator.

Of course, the real Gecko45 would never reveal himself in such a public manner (rest assured, I know his real identity), but the man carrying his mantle offers some sage wisdom nonetheless. On the subject of training K9 dogs for mall security, he writes:

Wether or not to utilize a K9 in your security team is a tough choice. They can be expensive. The cost of a well trained K9 can be more than the annual salary we pay a security guard. We’re talking ten, maybe fifteen thousand dollars.

I never considered the economic factors behind this dangerous and secretive job.