Well, you can start by giving him or her a really stupid name. The Atlanta Journal has published a database of the most common baby names in Georgia.
Some are truly horrendous. I’m pretty sure that if you name your child Chancellor (as 78 people did), he’ll spend most of his primary school years being beaten up for his lunch money. Naming a girl Heaven-Leigh is a sure-fire way to ensure she’ll grow up to be a stripper, but six parents did just that.
Other trashy and cliche Anglo-Saxon names include the ever-popular Jade (1211), Dakota (2553), Chandler (1862 boys and 427 girls), Madison (#1 for two years running), Jasmine (7503) and of course, Hayden (2058).
Really, people. From exactly what heritage does Celica come? Can’t you be any more creative?
At least nine parents named their sons Kal-El. See? That’s at least showing some effort. Name your kid Courvoisier, and he’ll will be stuck with that name for life (or at least until he’s smart enough to disown you). Put a little more initiative into the process than just reciting brand names of consumer products or random dictionary entries.
170 children will be scarred for life by being name Lexus. One will be forever traumatized with the name Jeovannie. You’d think they’d at least have spell-check at the hospital, but 60 girls were named Tristin (it’s spelled “Tristan,” and it’s a boy’s name).
Oh, and one poor sap was named Quantum. I really have no idea.
Please, won’t someone think of the children?