At Least He Hacks Off the Bradys

I was incorrect in a previous article, and I’d like to post a correction.  Steve Perry, the beloved singer from arena rock band Journey, is not running for the Republican Presidential nomination.  I regret the misunderstanding and assure the readership that swift punishment will be meted out.  There will be demerits.

As it turns out, the actual candidate is Rick Perry, shown here displaying some truly wretched muzzle and trigger discipline:

Way to set an example, Rick.

The Brady Campaign wasted no time putting the shot to good use, issuing a press release on the matter.

The Republican primary campaign has hardly begun and already it is being dominated by extremists. None as scary as Rick Perry who brazenly carries weapons – concealed and revealed. Even on the campaign trail!

Only an egotistical extremist would carry a loaded weapon into a crowd – encouraging others to do so.  Is this where America is headed? Is this the America you want for our nation’s children?

Heck, why not?  Let us not forget that Teddy Roosevelt was known to carry a pistol, and he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1905. He also kept a gorgeous engraved FN 1900 on the nightstand in the White House.  Of course, handguns weren’t banned in Washington DC in the early 20th Century.  A modern President might find himself running afoul of the law by keeping and carrying a gun there.

That said, I’m not too enthused about what I’ve seen of Governor Perry so far. He’s a Tea Party sycophant who pushes for including intelligent design in the public school curriculum, and his response to a statewide drought involves prayer.

John Stewart deftly summed up my thoughts about the Tea Party, referring to them as “the Moral Majority in a tri-corner hat.”  Something in me suspects that, behind the strident Barry Goldwater quotes and flag waving, there’s something else going on.  The intelligent design movement has a sneaky thing called the “wedge strategy” which involves draping creationism in the garb of pseudoscience and gradually insinuating it into the areas of science and public policy.

I have nagging concerns that the Tea Party plans the same thing, with a broader evangelical sweep, on some level.  I really hope I’m wrong.

As it is, we don’t have time to waste on this sort of foolishness right now.  This is what I need to hear from a Presidential candidate:

1. How he’s going to reduce the deficit and unemployment. I want a plan, not platitudes. I want specifics, and I want the numbers crunched by someone who actually knows what they’re doing.
2. What kind of Justices he’ll nominate for the Supreme Court. I want to know his guidelines, and the rationale behind them.
3. How we’re going to disentangle ourselves from our military actions in Afghanistan. Again, I want specifics, not slogans.

Once that’s all settled, we can discuss whether or not pornography tears at the social fabric.

In the meantime, I don’t need to hear any more pedantic lectures about Alexander Hamilton.  I read him a long time before doing so was mere politically expediency.  I don’t need folks chirping their half-baked conspiracy theories.  They’re uncivil, distasteful, and worst of all, they’re boring.  The President isn’t in league with the Giant Space Ants, he’s not out to turn the republic into an empire, and he wasn’t born in Kenya.  Incompetence doesn’t make someone the Second Coming of Joe Stalin.

In fact, I submit that, without Barack Obama, there would be no Tea Party.  The whole thing is a glorified sewing circle for people who want to assuage their guilt because they couldn’t be troubled to get off the couch and vote in 2006, and again in 2008.

If we can’t get Steve Perry to run, can we at least get Peter Frampton?