By now, you’ve likely heard of Attack Watch, a site on which loyal citizens can report their friends, neighbors, politicians, boss, or gardener for spreading “misinformation” about the President and his agenda. The site is registered to Obama for America, an underdog organization with only about $140,629,243 in capital. It’s not quite the Ministry of Love, but it’ll have to do.
I got to thinking, and I’ve been pretty hard on the guy myself. In fact, I’m positively wracked with guilt. As such, I’ve turned myself in to the site. I advise anyone else who’s disagreed with the administration to do so as well. Consider it a gesture of purgation and reconciliation. Really, isn’t it time we started healing as a country?
I’ve also taken the proactive step of reporting anyone I suspect of not having the moral character to do so themselves. A short list follows.
- The Brady Campaign, for giving him a bad report card.
- George W. Bush, because everything’s his fault.
- Dick Cheney, because I bet he kicked a puppy at some point in his life.
- Joe Biden, because he’s always looking at the President’s butt with a vague air of disapproval during speeches.
- Antony Weiner, for screwing things up in New York.
- David Wu, for doing much the same. And for the tiger outfit.
- Ted Kennedy, for being so thoughtless as to bow out before things got ugly.
- That old MTV VJ Kennedy, because I despise horn rimmed glasses.
- George Lucas, for screwing up Star Wars.
- Sammy Hagar, for screwing up Van Halen.
- Yoko Ono, for screwing up the Beatles.
- Alex Jones, just because his fans keep giving me those weird DVD’s. I don’t watch them, people.
- Harris Faulkner, for not responding to my 641 marriage proposals.
- Kaylee from Firefly, for the same reason. I’m running out of crayons here.
- Bart Sibrel, for calling Buzz Aldrin a liar. We landed on the moon. Get over it, Bart.
This list is by no means all-inclusive, and I reserve the right to report anyone who displeases me. You’ve been warned.
One thought on “On Desperation”
I read your site because your comments are intelligent and well thought out, even when I disagree with you. A fair few left wingers read your site because of that. There are quite a few points we agree on, and I point people here to show that not all Republicans are Glen Beck…
This, as an Obama supporter, just embarrasses me.
Politics is a dirty game, but at the moment partisan politics from both camps is truly horrific, and both sides are just saying “They started it”
I really hope you have dobbed yourself in, and I would encourage everyone to do the same. I will dob myself in regarding the policies that I disagree with. See how long the site lasts then.
I am a socialist. I understand that not everyone wants that, and that their viewpoints are valid. My left wing views are pretty damned extreme compared to most, yet I know that very few people would be comfortable in the society that I envisage. I am willing to compromise for a move towards a better and fairer society, and the way (and the things) you write tell me that you would too.
Radicals on both sides of politics are preventing this great country from moving forward and finding genuine, lasting solutions to the problems our beautiful country faces.
I think we need a political revolution that puts forward candidates who are more interested in solutions than partisan politics. (Yeh, good luck with that…)
Love your taste in music too.
Elara