Second Guessing the Unguessable

A young man commited suicide on the range last Thursday. He fired 49 rounds, then turned the 50th on himself.

I reached him within seconds, but he showed no vital signs whatsoever.  He left behind two notes, one of which he appeared to have been holding while he shot himself, and another in his wallet. He waited until the area to his left was clear and aimed the weapon in such a way that nobody was downrange from the bullet.

We all expect suicidal people to give some sort of sign before they do something like this. As I’ve learned over the last few days, this isn’t the case. I’d spoken to this person on two occasions at length, and he always appeared amiable and content. He seemed to enjoy shooting and was showing improvement over time.

Many suicidal people become somewhat serene once they’ve made the decision. I have no idea what led this man to take his own life, but he must have made up his mind well before we met.

Needless to say, the whole situation was quite disturbing to both witnesses and employees. My primary emotion at the time was annoyance. I was angry that he’d shown the temerity to dump this in my lap. Some very uncharitable thoughts ran through my head. Looking back, that was a fairly selfish reaction.

There’s some consolation in the fact that he chose to do it on our premises rather than in front of his family. They’ve lost a son and they are grieving.  They don’t need to see what I saw. I can deal with the terrible logistics.

I’d hoped this could be kept quiet, but someone at the Atlanta Journal/Constitution had access to a police scanner. The story was in the news before his body had even been removed from the premises, and well before the family could even be located or informed. There has been a great deal of speculation on the gun boards, most of it inaccurate, and much of it in reprehensible taste.

I am grateful for those who have expressed support and sympathy.  If I hear from the man’s family, I will post the means to offer assistance to them.