Nobody knows for sure what made Clippy snap. Perhaps it was the cocaine. Maybe it was the way Steve Ballmer would sneak up and grope him when they were alone in the break room. For all we know, he hit the breaking point when he turned on the television and saw himself being voiced by Gilbert Gottfried.
All we know is that the 21st century wasn’t being kind to Clippy, and he wasn’t taking it anymore.
One January morning in 2000, he showed up at the Microsoft offices in Redmond with a Glock 19 and a 33-round magazine. There would be blood. Oh yes, there would be blood.
However, Clippy’s rampage was cut mercifully short by the fact that he lacked fingers and was unable to operate the gun. King County deputies arrested him on weapons charges. He took an insanity defense, and he’s currently getting the help he needs.
I wish the same could be said of the Brady Campaign.
Their latest silly piece of claptrap is a video encouraging the President to ban “assault clips.” Apparently, “big bullet-blasting boxes” didn’t tap into the cultural zeitgeist as well as they’d hoped, so they’re trying a variation. They’re definitely going for INTENSITY here.
Notice the barely-contained fury in that guy’s eyes. He knows Clippy’s pain. He surely does.
Also note the weird and unsafe placement of his left-hand index finger. Somebody doesn’t know how to handle a pistol.
He’s going to get a gouge on the thumb holding it that way. Of course, he doesn’t care. He’s too busy blasting away at disturbingly anthropomorphic targets, like this one:
What’s his problem with college graduates? Did he flunk out of community college twelve credit hours short? For all we know, he was going end up with something useless like a Sociology degree anyhow. A guy like that would’ve just defaulted on his student loans. Save the angst and get a job, buddy.
Oh, and “unpaid intern for gun control advocacy group” doesn’t count as a job.
Perhaps he already knows that on some level. It could be why he’s brimming with rage. He turns his attention to this, and it gets surreal.
Where did they get that target? In twenty-something years of shooting, I have never seen a target like that. Who would even print such a thing?
Oh right, the Brady Campaign would. Because this is how low they’ll sink to make a point.
And to think I was once afraid of them.
One thought on “Assault Clips”
Sarah Brady lost a bit of her mind when her husband was shot, if she hadn’t lost if previously. Clearly, she is utterly incapable of drawing logical conclusions, and this video merely goes to show just how divorced she (and her Campaign) has become from reality.
But don’t stop being scared of the Brady Campaign. Desperate, insane people are often very dangerous indeed.